The wind was blowing hard as he walked down the sidewalk, and he shoved his hands into his pockets to stave off the chill. In the midst of drenching heat, came the storms, and he was hurrying towards the destination the colors had given him. Time wasn’t on his side anymore, and he didn’t get to live the world in a consecutive tick of the the clock. Time was a bitter little woman named Gi, hell-bent on destroying the world. – Shiloh Raiden Félidés, lord Ignis- the god of Fire (excerpt from Asylum- Gemini Deiux II)
My style is poetic. Yeah, I know. People want it straight up. I could have shortened the whole paragraph to:
Shi shoved his hands into his pockets because the wind blowing was cold. The goddess of Time was trying to kill him. To stop her, he moved from the past to the present to fix stuff. If she killed him, the world would blow. The colors kept all the information he needed to stop the goddess like a filing cabinet.
(Honestly, those colors came from imagining everything in the world had an aura and people saw things that way.)
Rewriting that took me a bit. My brain is wired to live in the scene. All of my senses are engaged when I write. I try to become the MC of the scene and describe the moment as if I lived it.
Training myself to write differently is hard and when I read it back to edit, it’s lost something in the translation.
So, how do you write? What’s your style? Is all of you engaged in the moment?